Our Testimony
I guess it makes sense to start this blog off with our marriage testimony. Without going into too much detail, suffice it to say that I was dealing with a lot of guilt from choices/circumstances in my past. It ate away at me and I couldn't seem to move forward.
I had met a great, Godly man, and we wanted to be married. But I felt like I was just stuck. It all seemed so right, but so wrong. I can't explain it. I just could NOT forgive myself and move on! I knew that God had, indeed, forgiven me...but it just wasn't enough to get me moving off of that guilt train. I struggled every day with this. I prayed so much that I could be forgiven (though deep down I knew I was), I repented, I changed all of my ways...but I was so hard on myself.
Meanwhile, Eric and I were talking of marriage. He knew how I was struggling with my need to please God. We made a vow to live as righteously as we could. We had repenting hearts, and truly just wanted to live to please the Lord. We poured out our hearts to God daily, and we asked Him about marriage, about His plan for each of us, about helping us live the proper way, etc. We were truly walking the best road we could.
In our marriage talks, we discussed how no one lives like us around here. We are very conservative and old fashioned, I guess. We had both been through a lot in life and didn't want any part of what the world considers "fun". We had had enough. It's okay if you call me a boring, old prude. I'm good with that. :) We had no idea who we would ever get to marry us, if, Lord willing, we got married. We talked about how we wanted it very simple and quiet. No parties, no large crowds...just a meaningful covenant with God. We also decided we would like a September wedding. One day Eric said to me, "Too bad we couldn't get Phil Robertson (from the tv show "Duck Dynasty") to marry us. He thinks like we do. Wouldn't that be cool?"
Life kept moving on, with no sign of us moving forward with it. I had been looking at an Etsy shop that sells the cutest dresses and thought how pretty they would look on our little girl. The cheapest ones were around $40, so I never really entertained the notion. Kids grow way too fast for that.
Another day on Etsy, I was just browsing around, and I found the prettiest shabby chic/bohemian dress! I'm not big on stuff like that, but I loved this dress! It was nearly $900. ha, ha! In a moment of small talk, I showed it to my landlady. A couple days later, she took me to Goodwill and we got a very simple off-white sundress. Very plain, nothing to it. She took it to her home, and for the next few weeks, she added crocheted doilies, butterflies, satin pieces, lace....she made that dress appear right before my very eyes! I paid $10 for it. (She also pinned one extra butterfly to it, as a leftover.) We took this as a hopeful sign that God was allowing us to move towards marriage.
Not long after that, the first Etsy store that I had looked at, with the little girl's dresses had a HUGE sale...I was able to buy 2 white lace dresses for Little Miss, for $9.95 each! Hmmm....now this is weird, right? They were actually labeled as "flower girl dresses".
After this, I had a smidgen of hope. So I changed my prayers completely. I asked the Lord one day, if He truly forgave me and accepted my repentance, and I could move forward, I needed to KNOW it. (Yes, I realize this isn't the best form of faith, but the struggle was real. I needed help.) I made up my mind to ask for something VERY specific. I knew that if God answered this prayer, all was forgiven. I asked Him to please allow Phil Robertson to marry and baptize us. Eric wrote a letter to Phil. Yes, it was a long shot. They must get thousands of letters per month. But we stepped out in faith.
Now, here is where you need to understand the life we live. I have to tell you these things in order for you to truly see a miracle unfolding. We don't have much money. At all. We live in a house that Eric works the rent off of. We have no savings, no credit cards, and our truck cost us $500. We don't go anywhere or do anything because we can't. Plain and simple. He has a part-time mail delivery job and I run an Etsy shop. This is our income, for 6 people. I tell you this because I want you to understand that we have NO WAY of making things happen for ourselves in this world that is run by money.
One night at the end of August, at 9:00, we had just put the kids to bed, Eric was rocking the little one, I was half asleep, and my phone rang. I didn't recognize the number, so I ignored it. But they left a message, so I listened. I kid you not, it was a man calling on behalf of Phil Robertson. They got our letter and agreed to marry and baptize us! In Louisiana! Wowwwweeeee!
Of course we had to say yes, we'll be there. But....we have a truck that is broken down more often than not, no credit card to reserve hotel rooms, no money to even think of traveling, anyways...4 kids....19 hours one way....Impossible, right? Eric and I looked at each other and said, "If God brought us this far, He will provide."
And provide, He did! We only told a handful of people. We kept it VERY quiet. But of the few people that we told, most of them gave us money as a wedding gift to get us down there. We had a rental van and hotel rooms completely paid for. No credit card needed--the rooms were ready when we arrived, every time! We took a HUGE leap of faith, packed up all the kids on barely nothing and drove ourselves 19 hours one way to Louisiana! Talk about listening to God! People thought we were crazy!! Who does that with no money, no credit card and four kids?! ha, ha.
God took us all the way across the country with no accidents, no break downs, no sicknesses, no troubles at all. We saw cotton fields for the first time, watched the landscape change before our eyes, realized how NICE people in the south are...it was truly amazing! We had our September wedding, in the dress I had wanted. Oh, and remember that leftover butterfly? I sewed it onto Little Miss's dress in the hotel room. She matched her mama. :)
Friends, I'm going to save some of this for another post because I know you're tired of reading. But here's what I want to say. The Lord took my guilt, my repented heart, my desires...He heard our prayers and He did the unimaginable. There is NO WAY in this world that Eric and I could have ever taken a trip like this. But we did. And guess what?
We got married in Phil Robertson's living room. We got baptized on his property, in the river. It was the simple, small wedding we asked for. We have no rings, there was no photographer (my boys took these photos), nothing. But it was the best thing ever! In my next post, I will share more details. But I want you all to understand, if you truly repent; if you change your ways; if you call upon the Almighty's Name and ask Him...there's a good chance you will see miracles. There will be more to come, I know! I want you to see...God can do "exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think" (Eph. 3:20) if we will LET Him. It took us changing our lives--being laughed at by loved ones and mocked and called names--to get to this point. There is a cost. But there are so many rewards! As we know, with God, all things are possible!
I had met a great, Godly man, and we wanted to be married. But I felt like I was just stuck. It all seemed so right, but so wrong. I can't explain it. I just could NOT forgive myself and move on! I knew that God had, indeed, forgiven me...but it just wasn't enough to get me moving off of that guilt train. I struggled every day with this. I prayed so much that I could be forgiven (though deep down I knew I was), I repented, I changed all of my ways...but I was so hard on myself.
Meanwhile, Eric and I were talking of marriage. He knew how I was struggling with my need to please God. We made a vow to live as righteously as we could. We had repenting hearts, and truly just wanted to live to please the Lord. We poured out our hearts to God daily, and we asked Him about marriage, about His plan for each of us, about helping us live the proper way, etc. We were truly walking the best road we could.
In our marriage talks, we discussed how no one lives like us around here. We are very conservative and old fashioned, I guess. We had both been through a lot in life and didn't want any part of what the world considers "fun". We had had enough. It's okay if you call me a boring, old prude. I'm good with that. :) We had no idea who we would ever get to marry us, if, Lord willing, we got married. We talked about how we wanted it very simple and quiet. No parties, no large crowds...just a meaningful covenant with God. We also decided we would like a September wedding. One day Eric said to me, "Too bad we couldn't get Phil Robertson (from the tv show "Duck Dynasty") to marry us. He thinks like we do. Wouldn't that be cool?"
Life kept moving on, with no sign of us moving forward with it. I had been looking at an Etsy shop that sells the cutest dresses and thought how pretty they would look on our little girl. The cheapest ones were around $40, so I never really entertained the notion. Kids grow way too fast for that.
Another day on Etsy, I was just browsing around, and I found the prettiest shabby chic/bohemian dress! I'm not big on stuff like that, but I loved this dress! It was nearly $900. ha, ha! In a moment of small talk, I showed it to my landlady. A couple days later, she took me to Goodwill and we got a very simple off-white sundress. Very plain, nothing to it. She took it to her home, and for the next few weeks, she added crocheted doilies, butterflies, satin pieces, lace....she made that dress appear right before my very eyes! I paid $10 for it. (She also pinned one extra butterfly to it, as a leftover.) We took this as a hopeful sign that God was allowing us to move towards marriage.
Not long after that, the first Etsy store that I had looked at, with the little girl's dresses had a HUGE sale...I was able to buy 2 white lace dresses for Little Miss, for $9.95 each! Hmmm....now this is weird, right? They were actually labeled as "flower girl dresses".
After this, I had a smidgen of hope. So I changed my prayers completely. I asked the Lord one day, if He truly forgave me and accepted my repentance, and I could move forward, I needed to KNOW it. (Yes, I realize this isn't the best form of faith, but the struggle was real. I needed help.) I made up my mind to ask for something VERY specific. I knew that if God answered this prayer, all was forgiven. I asked Him to please allow Phil Robertson to marry and baptize us. Eric wrote a letter to Phil. Yes, it was a long shot. They must get thousands of letters per month. But we stepped out in faith.
Now, here is where you need to understand the life we live. I have to tell you these things in order for you to truly see a miracle unfolding. We don't have much money. At all. We live in a house that Eric works the rent off of. We have no savings, no credit cards, and our truck cost us $500. We don't go anywhere or do anything because we can't. Plain and simple. He has a part-time mail delivery job and I run an Etsy shop. This is our income, for 6 people. I tell you this because I want you to understand that we have NO WAY of making things happen for ourselves in this world that is run by money.
One night at the end of August, at 9:00, we had just put the kids to bed, Eric was rocking the little one, I was half asleep, and my phone rang. I didn't recognize the number, so I ignored it. But they left a message, so I listened. I kid you not, it was a man calling on behalf of Phil Robertson. They got our letter and agreed to marry and baptize us! In Louisiana! Wowwwweeeee!
Of course we had to say yes, we'll be there. But....we have a truck that is broken down more often than not, no credit card to reserve hotel rooms, no money to even think of traveling, anyways...4 kids....19 hours one way....Impossible, right? Eric and I looked at each other and said, "If God brought us this far, He will provide."
And provide, He did! We only told a handful of people. We kept it VERY quiet. But of the few people that we told, most of them gave us money as a wedding gift to get us down there. We had a rental van and hotel rooms completely paid for. No credit card needed--the rooms were ready when we arrived, every time! We took a HUGE leap of faith, packed up all the kids on barely nothing and drove ourselves 19 hours one way to Louisiana! Talk about listening to God! People thought we were crazy!! Who does that with no money, no credit card and four kids?! ha, ha.
God took us all the way across the country with no accidents, no break downs, no sicknesses, no troubles at all. We saw cotton fields for the first time, watched the landscape change before our eyes, realized how NICE people in the south are...it was truly amazing! We had our September wedding, in the dress I had wanted. Oh, and remember that leftover butterfly? I sewed it onto Little Miss's dress in the hotel room. She matched her mama. :)
Friends, I'm going to save some of this for another post because I know you're tired of reading. But here's what I want to say. The Lord took my guilt, my repented heart, my desires...He heard our prayers and He did the unimaginable. There is NO WAY in this world that Eric and I could have ever taken a trip like this. But we did. And guess what?
We got married in Phil Robertson's living room. We got baptized on his property, in the river. It was the simple, small wedding we asked for. We have no rings, there was no photographer (my boys took these photos), nothing. But it was the best thing ever! In my next post, I will share more details. But I want you all to understand, if you truly repent; if you change your ways; if you call upon the Almighty's Name and ask Him...there's a good chance you will see miracles. There will be more to come, I know! I want you to see...God can do "exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think" (Eph. 3:20) if we will LET Him. It took us changing our lives--being laughed at by loved ones and mocked and called names--to get to this point. There is a cost. But there are so many rewards! As we know, with God, all things are possible!
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